Thursday, May 19, 2011

Oh! So THIS is the guy who won't repeal "don't ask don't tell". Oh it's not? Obama? Who's that?

Here we go again. Another rapper puts stuff about faggots and rape in his lyrics and somebody really old and obtuse gets really mad and accuses them of creating an “environment of hate” or some other irrational bullshit concept.

I’m wondering...

Is it possible that while us 28-34 year olds have been cleaning up the multi-generational, toxic psychological residue brought on by the shitty values and traditions instilled into us by our parents (and other boomers); that the psychology of our youth (17-23) has changed to a point where even we- the post-X generation- fall into the same moors of dismissive-ness in not only trying to understand our little brothers and sisters but even trying to address them?

While some pop-culture laymen didn't too much care for Tyler's reply to Tegan & Sara's open letter, I actually found the reaction perfect for a post-modern (socially irregular) teenager. It was indicative of a boy born in a steaming gruel of gratuitous violence and sex images, rendered powerless by a social system that will never work for them (or anyone) and often forcibly made inarticulate by an educational approach that simply does not lean towards creative intellectual thought (the kind that lacks the dogmatics of the status quo).

These kids, black, white, gay, straight flock to forums like & to spend hours in front of the computer alone, to call each other faggots, niggers and masturbate to .gifs of non-consensual anal sex & shemale on female pornography. --In this light "Hit me up for hard dick." was really fucking tame. We now live in an era where nothing really matters and he/she who whines that loudest about it always (always always) loses.

I think anyone with an analytical brain can look at Odd Future and their fans and safely assume that we're not dealing with some nu-culture of homophobia ala Eminem (Skaters aren’t the most aggressive or masculine or socially relevant group). And If Sara Quin or whoever wants to compare the two-- then all this really calls for is a pacifying Elton John duet!

Then “alls coo", Right? I mean, last time GLAAD got this mad at a rapper.... absolutely nothing happened. Nothing changed. The world didn’t wake up and realise how much the word “faggot" hurts other faggots’ feelings, just like no one down south in the 60's realized how shitty it made a “nigger” feel when you called him “nigger.” And after the smoke settles I'm sure that a level headed Teagan & Sara will realize that it's not the inarticulate suburban teenagers (read: Tyler's / Teagan & Sara's fanbase) who are holdin' the gay community down, it's the highly religious, exceptionally wealthy and notoriously white that continues to do so. It is something that has been institutionalized by people who wield more power than Tyler the Creator could ever dream of. So why not attack them instead of this little shit?

When Teagan & Sara and all of queerdom and every oppressed individual is ready to hit Newt with a face full of glitter or risk facing a reign of rubber bullets or mace for their beliefs then maybe I'll see this as more than a blatantly obvious PR stunt to get some fire back into a band waning in popularity. Right now, it looks like nothing more than two self-actualized, worldly and knowledgeable snarky faggots in their 30's guffgawing at the immoral actions of some little teenage nigglet.

(For the record: I don't consider either of these "artists" to be particularly talented.)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Fukushima don't got nothing on *this meltdown*. LOL. (Too soon?)

I don't touch upon music as a point of critique in this blog simply because I'm too close to the subject matter. However, the cultural decay surrounding music as an art-form is open fucking season. So spread your cheeks, lift your sack, hide your kids, hide your wife, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur...

I present Exhibit A.

Ariel's "meltdown" at Coachella. I'll actually exercise a fair amount of brevity here because it doesn't take a fucking trend-hunter to realize that music festivals like Coachella are a dying institution populated and propagated by people who only relate to music on the most shallow of levels. (Which is why it's easy to get at them dollars)

Analogy: Someone bereft or feeling deprived of a cultural identity, tries "something different" to be cool (or make money, whatever). Falls into the wrong crowd- gets repeatedly, viciously and vigorously molested and becomes "uncool" for the rest of their fucking lives. (Therapy = $$$)

If you were stupid enough to be at Coachella in the first place, then you not only deserved to have your favorite performer (whom ever that may be) turn their back on you, but you also deserved to have your starlet(s) of choice take a stiff shit down your throat, with their ass cheeks agape from laughter.

"Oh but we paid 300$+ AMERICAN just to see him and blah blah blah" - No, you didn't. You paid to be at **~~Coachella~~**. You paid for a pedantic festival of "spring-breakian" proportions and the hive-mind mass hysteria that's been programmed into you every since Nirvana got airplay. I can't speak for Ariel's motivations behind what went down and that's primarily because they don't fucking matter. If this was a meltdown, then it was a meltdown in the collective conscious of the creative minority. Our name is Sharif and we don't like it.

You feel bilked?



Too bad, bitch. So do we. Here's "one to grow on": Never pay more than 100$ for *anything* related to music unless it's a Fender Jagstang (gear) or Peruvian Blue Flake (drugs). I hope next year the rest of us will finally toss these events to the bros, the personality "no-gots" and the middle-aged couples who want to reaffirm that they are old and irrelevant via a combination of Radiohead, Schrooms, Lazar lights and over-priced domestic beer.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Christopher Hitchens and his Technicolor Death Bed Blogs.

The West's favorite ailing lily -white atheist unceremoniously chimes in on the recent Koran burning. In this critique we determine who is the greater of two fucktards. The virulent actions of two mentally-ill religious figureheads instigating holy war. Or Hitchens and his lilac-scented, misinformed and atypically dry assessment of "what the deal is".

In Hitchen's first paragraph he not only terribly mucks up a flowery analogy of Heine's Almansor (which no one has read or cares about), but he yet again drums up the holocaust as a valid comparison to this current incarnation of "Islamo-Facism". This not only fails to hit the nail on the head, but it does so with an object about as blunt or as powerful as a silk sock filled used condoms & wet band aids. The thesis is fucked at the on set: The notion that all the violence and anti-western sentiment is based on pure religious zealotry. Refusing to address that it is economic disparity brought on by the sheer lunacy of western foreign policy makes so him out of touch with reality that I kinda wish I was a 'shroom dealer. Dumb fuck would put my grand-children through college.

Then, out of what I can only assume to be pure nerve, Hitchen's goes on to assert that Jones would only "probably refrain" from burning actual people in name of his God. Really? Dude, are you sure you're not Christian? Listen, Jones' act was just as incendiary as Karzai's reaction because he knew what the effect would be. It's this weird western-euro moral equivalancy bullshit that reduces what are *supposed* to be our brightest minds into stiff lipped, prim-babies who- when confronted with the stupidity of "their side" dare to opine that- oh- you can't possibly think we are bad because we hide our inner lack of ethics under a venier of 1950's manners and nicety. It seems at this point that these types of people are out of touch with the ill intentions of others, that the one not hiding it and appearing the most brazen in their rancour is clearly the worst offender. As far as I'm concerned, Karzai's approach was to merely quell the majority of his base who are disenfranchised first and zealots second.

And this is my point: It should no longer bear repetition or note when rabid islamo-fundies -in Afganistan- call for the heads of 22,000 Danes in exchange for one torched Koran (which, I don't even think happened). Religion is the mechanism used to build political indignation (and yeah, fair enough: militarize) a vast population of people who have been raped by the baked turd of western foreign and economic policy. Making religion the focal point cheapens the conflict for both sides. Jones' Koran burning puts the blood of the 20 people burned on his hands just as much as Karzai's.

This says to me that our situation with our religious fundamentalists actually isn't too far off from the Middle East and this is *despite* our religious freedoms. When some white southern paster goes stirring up shit under the guise of a freedom exercise, you might want to start doing more than treating this as nothing more than the inane production of a retard and start looking at it as a sign for things to come (in America). Play around with all the comparative ethics you want. What Jones' did paid dividends.

On the other hand, Hitchens play-by-play here does nothing but gives license to the idea that even when it comes down to our religious holy-war aping psychopaths, we are in fact "better than them." -- The suggestion of which is nothing more than fuel for burning minds of young, angry and disenfranchised Islamic youth. Hitchens: Yet another example of some old baby boomer fuck simply not getting it and recycling misinformation designed for a purely emotive response. Hey old man, if you're gonna lay there in the throes of deathbed detachment, can you at least leave the commentary to the living?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

A clinical piss-take of the movie: Black Swan

More like: "Wack Yawn"

Who ever does the genre classification for all movies ever made needs to cut-it-the-fuck-out with the absinthe IVs, the doing speed off of she-male dicks till 7am and- you know- just generally get their shit together. "Drama-Thriller" is a rather paltry definition for a film that served up at best only the implication of drama. I've had better "wouldn't that be crazy if..." sessions alone & stoned in my room. Outside of the scenes of hinted incest and implicit gore- Black Swan was hardly thrilling. B-horror movie, slash, Mega-Smash hit Comedy. THAT's what you meant, dude. And if you had just told me that this was gonna be your classic foot-fetish laugh riot at the on-set I wouldn't be verbally gutting this sad and often boring wanna-be "Requiem for a Dream" alternative universe spin off.

I don't know what Aronofsky's (By the way: Not fucking stoked that this guy is remaking Lone Wolf & Cub) intention was with the heavy-handed symbology, his (not so) thinly veiled commentary on anorexia(?) or the endless quest for perfection; but the result was a two hour long Degrassi Jr High episode. With a more convoluted plot. I don't mind a movie hinting at its own lack of seriousness- but this movie explosively cat-shits Uwe Boll proportions of stupidity directly into that perpetually confused look on your face and then has the unflinching nerve to be like: "Hahaha! Get it"? Get what? Toxoplasmosis? Poo smells so it's funny, but don't serve me a stale roasted rhinosaurus cock and tell me it's a chicken apple sausage. That's fucked up.

I will say this though: Mila Kunis is a fucking Goddess. I would Quantum Leap into the body of a blonde-haired blue-eyed 67-year old pedophile trapped in an all-black rape-asylum just to get the ever so slightest whiff of her used & discarded period panties. I can't believe I just typed that. I'm sorry. (Sorry, that I'm not sorry.) Portman? Eh. Great acting, but it doesn't distract from the utterly gratuitous CGI-effects and the "you're 4 and you're retarded- so you have to hold my hand to cross the street" foreshadowing imagery OR that David Lynchian "everybody is ugly" HD-camera filter that ruined me ever considering Ksenia Solo or Barbara Hershey attractive for the rest of my life.

I’d continue on (and on and on) about how fucking horrible this movie was but I don’t want to be the guy who’s picking through the wicked cat-BM that’s congealing on his chest. Avoid this one. Aronofsky's been fallin off every since "The Fountain" and you don't need to watch phase 3 of some jackass downwards spiral into mediocrity.